9/27/05~

We took your service now we’ll take your children…..

 Right now American men and women are overseas in Iraq serving their country in the most honorable way.  Many of them look forward to the day when they can return home to their families, envisioning a joyful reunion with loved ones.  Unfortunately for those who pay the ultimate sacrifice for their country this day will never come, and maybe even more unfortunately, some who do return from the war will find that their children have been taken away from them.       

Army National Guard Spc. Joe McNeilly, for example, returned from a 15 month tour in Iraq to his home in Grand Lakes, Michigan to find that the mother of his ten-year-old son had been given permanent full custody of their child.  Prior to his tenure serving his country, McNeilly and Holly Erb, had shared a joint 50-50 custody of their son, Joey.  They conveniently and kindly alternated weeks where they would care for the child.  When McNeilly found out he had to go to Iraq, he was decided that giving Erb full custody was the best thing he could do for their son.   He was assured that custody would be returned to their prearranged state after he came home. 

However when he arrived back in the U.S. after his tour in Iraq, McNeilly found that his wife had persuaded the courts to give her permanent full custody of Joey.  Upon his return McNeilly found that his custody of Joey had been whittled down to weekends and holidays. 

Weekends and holidays?  A good and loving father who had been trusted to care for his son every other week was now reduced to seeing him on weekends and holidays.  How can the courts justify such a decision?  Well it seems that serving your country in a war is justification enough.  At first it was that his tenure in Iraq was classified as abandonment of the child.  That’s right; going to serve your country is now considered abandoning your family.  The court referee told McNeilly that such a long term absence constituted abandonment and therefore had produced “custody points” against him. 

Since McNeilly’s issue began to attract press coverage, however, the story has changed.  The court’s spokesman and Erb’s lawyer are now saying that McNeilly was deprived of custody, not because he was away in Iraq but rather because of his poor parenting skills while he was overseas.  Their proof for this claiming that McNeilly was a bad parent: postcards he sent back which showed United States soldiers training with weapons.  That’s right our soldiers, who are overseas fighting a war, fight it with weapons.  How shocking!!  And to think all this time I thought they were over there throwing water balloons at each other. 

Erb’s lawyer said that these images frightened 10-year-old Joey.  Well the sociologists can pretend that every young boy really wants to be playing with Barbie dolls, and doing arts and crafts, but the truth is that they would be hard pressed to find a 10-year-old boy anywhere who has not played “war” or Cowboys and Indians multiple times.  Not to mention they’d have even a harder time finding a 10-year-old who hasn’t seen a movie or television show with guns in it.  There is no real reason for removing McNeilly’s son from him.  In order to get a better perspective of McNeilly’s parenting skills why doesn’t the court look at the nine years in which McNeilly cared for Joey every other week, and neither Erb nor the court found anything negligent in his parenting.

Why are the courts punishing soldiers who fight for this country?  Why are the feminists in the court system depriving fathers who are ready and willing to be in their child’s life, of that opportunity?  Why are these people intent on further destroying the family?  Sadly, McNeilly’s case is not a unique one in fact it is estimated that in the state of Michigan alone there are 15-20 cases similar to McNeilly, and it isn’t always the father who loses his child, in some cases the mother of the child has been deprived of custody upon her return.  These patriots are serving their country in the noblest way possible and how are they rewarded when they come home?  They expect to see their children’s smiling faces when they arrive home, but unfortunately they do not, unless of course it’s a weekend or a holiday.  As a nation it is time for us to take a look at how we are treating our returning soldiers and their families.