No Way To Treat Our Soldiers

GRAND LEDGE, Mich. A Michigan Army National Guard member says that he lost shared custody of his ten-year-old son because he served in Iraq last year.

Thirty-three-year-old Specialist Joe McNeilly of Grand Ledge agreed to give temporary full-time custody to the mother of his son Joey.

But after he returned from Iraq, an Ingham County court referee recommended against restoring his shared custody.

The court and mother Holly Erb of Mason say McNeilly's deployment didn't cause the loss of custody.

State Representative Rick Jones says he'll develop legislation to bar courts from counting soldiers' military duty against them in custody cases.

Correction: "Allegedly" denying custody.

The court said that the deployment was not a factor. He said it was a factor.

The soldier has been given a lot of publicity on this. Now its up to him to prove his case.

Custody lawyer here. Let's assume that there is a case where the only factor is one of the parents is deployed overseas for a year. Other factors which would have to be considered would be the age of the child, the parenting skills of each parent, etc. The primary factor is most states is the "best interest of the child." In many states, the court's cannot modify custody unless there is a "material change in circumstance." One of the parents being absent for a year, no matter for what nobel purpose, would gualify as material.

The age is important because a one year old who goes a year without seeing a parent, assumes in his heart that the parent is dead and bonds to others. In fact, any of the first three years is very critical for bonding purposes.

I play, "if I were the judge" a lot. So here goes, if I were the judge in this case, I would order a reintegration so that the absence of the father would be dealt with by gradually increasing the time that the father spends with the child until it returns to something like 50/50.

You just stated some of the primary reasons for my getting out of the military after 10 years. I had a daughter, and a bad marriage. I separated in order to try to save my marriage, but also with the knowledge that if I stayed in, and the marriage fell apart, I would likely never see my daughter on a regular basis again. Now, here I am, 11 years after getting out, divorced for five and a half years, and with sole custody of my 12 year old daughter. Oh - and an ex-wife who currently owes about $8,000 in back child support.

its not his service that weighed negatively on his custody case. It's the fact he is male. Courts are consistently biased against men in custody cases. And for the lawyer on the thread, a father does not need to be reintegrated back into a child's life. Would you say the same for a mother.